How do you help leaders connect when they hate small talk?

​As we know from the various personality assessments available today, some people naturally gravitate towards being people managers, while others are more comfortable with being task managers. There's an on-going debate as to which to focus on first. Do you focus on your people, and then see your efforts yield great results, or do you focus on results, and see morale, pride, and engagement grow?
 
If you've done any work with me, you already know my answer: it's a polarity!

It's a both/and

​Successful leaders focus on both the people and the task. However, I sometimes find it difficult to make the case to a "task" manager as to why they should care about the people side of things. I have been challenged many a time. “What’s the business case, Laura?”
 
They say things like, "I'm a private person, and I keep my personal life out of the office!" and "These are my colleagues, not my friends."
 
And about small talk, what I hear a lot is, "It's not that I don't care, it's just that I don't have time for coffee-chats every day."

The Laws of Connection

​At last month’s CliffsNotes Book Club, we talked about The Laws of Connection by David Robson, and we went deep on this discussion.

​(In case you missed it, head to the portal to check out the fabulous book notes Tommy Zarembka prepared.)

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How do you communicate the benefit of connecting?

​The question I posed at book club is, how do you frame the benefit of connecting with others?
 
In the spirit of crowdsourcing, here are some ideas that I have used, and others that came from the group:
 

• In the book, Robson maintains that craving connection is a universal experience, and a deep sense of connection comes from constructing a ‘shared reality’ with another person. He defines ‘shared reality’ as when your thoughts, feelings and beliefs coincide.
• It’s now or later. Explain that you're either going to put the time in now (i.e., to connect with intention) or later (i.e., when something goes wrong), you decide. (Thanks to my colleague Katy O’Neill for this one!)
• Connecting builds trust, and trust is essential to getting quality results.
• When you take the time to know others, they will open up—sharing their struggles vs. hiding them. You avoid the situation of others “pretending it’s all under control” when there’s a project risk.

 
What would you add to the list?