Traps of Independence: Trap 3 of 3

Trap 3 of 3: I need to protect.

There’s nothing harder than to see someone struggle through a situation. However, this is exactly how children learn to talk, to walk, to eat, etc. Independence has to be coupled with the parent/executive’s ability to let go and to trust. Both are necessary. They are separate and equally important concepts. We learn to trust them and they learn to trust themselves. It’s a process, so start small. Young children, for example, often thrive when they receive two choices to select from. As they grow, the choices become more complex. Likewise, in the workplace, less experienced employees may need more limited choices, however, as they gain experience, allow them to tackle more complex problems. Certainly there will be problems along the way but if you intentionally focus on developing independence in others, you will have the fortitude to help others work through their problems, rather than protecting or solving their problems for them.

Think about the people you want to develop. What choices can you limit to encourage success in some? Where can you offer more challenges for others? When you and the other person feel slightly nervous (but not too much to cause panic), then you know you’re in the growth zone.

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