You gotta know when to hold em...What poker teaches us about life

This blog post begins with some desk-side Karaoke:
“You gotta know when to hold em…know when to fold them…know when to walk away…know when to run…”
(Sorry if it's now stuck in your head the rest of the day!)

I'm known in my family to constantly make up words to songs but, for some reason, Kenny Rogers’ The Gambler is one song that I memorized by heart when I was younger and haven't forgotten. I know it's cheesy but I always get the chills when he sings, "...in his final words I found an ace that I could keep." This song has been on my mind lately because of the book we reviewed last month in our CliffsNotes Book Club. We discussed Maria Konnikova’s book, The Biggest Bluff. It’s the story of a researcher who sets out to learn poker—to really master it—and through that experience, we learn a great deal about managing your emotions, bias, self-discipline, decision-making, and more. (A special thanks to Judy Dickinson for the awesome presentation!)
 
Why Poker? Poker, more so than other games, mirrors life. To win, you need a balance of luck and skill, much like in real life. Also, you have to make decisions in poker as you do in real life, with limited information. You can see your own cards, but what are the others holding?
 
I jotted down a few takeaways that are particularly useful for my work with leaders.
 

1. Tilt: Love this poker term. It’s the emotional energy you bring from your last game into your next game. If you won, you may be overly confident heading into your next game. If you lost, you may be forlorn. The lesson? Either way, recognize what’s happening and manage yourself.
2. Thin Sliced Judgments: We make judgments so quickly that we make mistakes. The research by Nalini Umbadi on Thin Sliced Judgements urges us to look for more info, to help round out our initial impressions.
3. Don't be a Fish: We have heard the term 'card shark,' but what about ‘being a fish?’ In poker, if you play it too passively, or play it too safe, you are a ‘fish.’ The lesson in poker, as in life, is that, if you sit on the sidelines, you lose.
4. Bad Beat: You win in poker when you make good decisions, and when luck is on your side. If you make good decisions, but luck is not on your side, it’s a 'bad beat.' As a soccer mom, the poker concept of 'bad beat' reminds me of the cry “unlucky!” in soccer. If you make a great shot at goal, and it hits the goalpost, fans will shout “unlucky.” It’s an encouraging word to say, “shake it off!” Poker has a similar philosophy on handling setbacks. The lesson: Instead of dwelling on the 'bad beat,' bring your focus to the present, and on good decision making. 
5. Poker Face, demystified: It turns out that there’s no such thing as the art of the tell. In The Gambler, Rogers talks about knowing how to read faces, and what we learn from Konnikova is that it’s the hands—not the face—that can reveal how a person is feeling. Who knew?! In book club, this prompted discussion of Paul Ekman’s research on Microgestures.

 
To learn more about the book, check out this Atlantic article, this NPR article, and the notes Judy prepared, on the portal.
 
What have games taught you about life?